Eileen – I Made the Decision Twice

Women don't want abortions-They want the solution that abortion brings.

Women don’t want to get abortions.

Eileen Fahlgren, Executive Director, shares her thoughts about the after-effects of abortion.

Women don’t want to get abortions. They want the quick solution which often ends up being abortion.  When they make their decision it’s usually done without a lot of information on what the procedure will be like, how it might affect their bodies and emotions, now and in the long term. We are just now seeing the fallout from the legalization of abortion; the 1973 landmark Roe vs Wade court case. Many women have kept silent for years, and some will keep silent forever. I was one of those women, keeping my silence for over 30 years. How could I talk about it? What was I going to do with the fact that my decision to abort my child had stopped a beating heart when I realized this years after?

This was truly a dilemma in my soul. When I made the decision of abortion, not once but twice, it was like my soul was split in two. I never felt at peace, like there was something that was just not right, but couldn’t put my finger on it.  As I kept silent over those many years, vowing to never tell anybody. In the back of my mind it made me feel like it never really happened. After all, it was my choice.

I finally made the decision that I needed help and I needed to find forgiveness, I knew my spiritual life had been affected so I figured this was a good place to start. God took me through a process of facing my fears and seeing my sin for what it was. I could then experience his love, grace and forgiveness, which had been there for me all along! Through that powerful transformation, the very thing that had kept me silent was now the thing that launched me forward to passionately tell my story. I realized I might be able to help someone else who was faced with the same thing I faced all those years ago. 

I was shocked by the statistics that one in three women were suffering silently, just as I had been. Many of them with nowhere to go and no way to find that freedom their hearts longed for. How could I keep silent when I now had peace and felt “free” for the first time since my abortion? Although the memory is still there, the pain is gone, and there is a sweetness in my life because I know that I have been forgiven.

God loves you and he has always loved you. Knowing God’s love for me and the compassionate help offered at Pregnancy Resource Center, it gave me the courage to face my biggest fears. Repeatedly, I see women coming to an abortion recovery group, looking downtrodden and reserved. Week by week, I see them being transformed, like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, and they leave the class with passion and a new zest for life!

I hope you will reach out and find a safe place to find healing and peace if you are struggling with your abortion decision.

The  Hearts of Hope program and classes offered at the Pregnancy Resource Center are available to anyone who has feelings of guilt, shame, numbness or regret from a past abortion.  We are here to talk with you and to help you make sense of the emotions and feelings you are experiencing.  Contact us using our confidential email.